Gay and Lesbian Recreational Football for London

2005 IGLFA World Championhip
Copenhagen

Sat 30th (Gayczar)
We had the ‘Welcome to Copenhagen Party’ at Bjarne’s (my host) flat. Pretty quickly the place filled up with all nationalities; English, French, American, Danish, German, Belgian, Spanish, Czech, Australian… oh it was a gay old do alright.

We were raising money for the lesbian team from Croatia as part of the IGLFA’s outreach project. I think that had we seen the prices in Copenhagen’s bars for ourselves beforehand then we probably would have thrown on a headscarf and played the accordion with them.

Gary Taylor (our loaned keeper from Bristol for the week) and I fled the party early(ish) in pursuit of the hot American boys, and found ourselves in a bar where you got a mixture of ten shots for 100 kroner (ten quid). Forty shots and a few pints later we started getting phone calls from Morten & Co asking where the hell we were so we decided to be sociable and head off to find them. After a few drinks and hellos in the Jailhouse (when you think about it, it’s obvious that you would slide the bars open rather than walk in to them expecting them to open). Tequila reared its pretty little head and we were ready to dance at Pan, the main Disco.

I remember a courtyard… a karaoke room and doing my bit for Atlantic relations. Hope you guys got home safe!

Sun 31st
Opening Ceremony
Before the party we had to all register ourselves for the tournament at the Hotel Imperial. This involved having your picture taken, getting a pass, goody bag blah blah blah. Now, we’ve got a scary assortment of pictures between us but I think the best picture prize goes to Pete Clifford for the scariest grin in the world along with Morten Bonde for daring to wear a gold sequined number. We kid ye not.

The party itself was held at Vega – lovely venue – and all of the teams turned up in their matching leisure wear. Everywhere you looked there would be clumps of Americans and Mancs in tracksuits… a rainbow of Polo shirts jostling on the dance floor… and Londoners at every bar. The show kicked off with a speech from the Queen of Denmark… or perhaps just someone that likes to dress like her. But she was funny. Then speeches followed by the Mayor of Copenhagen, and his cute little helper mayor for homo & culture. The Official World Cup song “Come out and Play” was performed and then we got to the moment of truth.

The draw for the group stages…

Being the efficient little Europeans that the Danes are, they kindly made sure that the English teams would not face each other in the first stage. They’d scrapped the two divisions for the first stage as everyone was too scared to play in the first!

Our draw for the first round saw us pitted with Hotlanta Heat/Wild Westphalians, a mix of Yanks and Germans; Pan Fodbold Copenhagen, the home team; and Florida Storm, the World Champions - complete with paid coach, tracksuits and 11pm curfews.

If you listened hard enough through the excitement and mutterings you could definitely make out the word “Bugger” being said over and over…

But we got into the party atmosphere; egging on the Florida boys over their curfew and trying to look hard by hogging the tequila. As the eventuality dawned on everybody that the games started from 9am the next day, the crowd started to file out. All except for one team that is. One team took it upon themselves to drink and drink, and be given sandwiches in the hope of sobering up, and drink and play table football until finally - they were actually asked to leave.

Doesn’t it make you proud to be a Leftfooter!

Mon 1st August
Even though our first game wasn’t till half ten, I requested the presence of Leftfooters at fields by eight to nab a dressing room and get into the serious warm up and tic-tac talk I’d spent the previous weeks preparing. Unfortunately, after leaving the opening ceremony a few of us staying in the apartments near Dybbolsbro decided to have a little drinkypoohs before bed. So the warm up didn’t go to plan and a few people may have had a discreet little tactical vomit behind the bushes.

First up was Pan Fodbold of Copenhagen. After the February tournament we knew they could be pretty handy though for the first fifteen minutes we ruled the show. Our passing was good and we covered well at the back. Then their star player began to find his feet. A through ball into our box and Steve Taylor decided to bring the game to life with superb sliding tackle. Unfortunately the ref adjudged him to have taken both his opponents legs with him (fair point) and gave a penalty which the Danes spanked into the back of the net just before half time. In the second half the Danes carried on just as before – with Mads causing all sorts of problems at the Leftfooters back line. I can’t remember what came next whether it was the Dane’s second goal or our penalty but Gayby Dave was brought down in the box, his penalty was then brilliantly saved by the keeper’s leg after being sent the wrong way. Towards the end of the game we started to take control again but it was too late. Your GayCzar hit the post from a tight angle after a superbly punted through ball but lady luck wasn’t there for us. The cow. 2-0 it ended to Pan Fodbold and our best chance of qualifying for the 1st division – out the window (phew!).

After a short break, the weather turned nice and felt a bit more settled. Up next were Hotlanta Heat/Wild Westphalians. These guys were good, but we’d found our legs by now and were starting to play like a team. And then I think the night before kicked in and we got a bit weary. We had the odd chance – breaking down the wings and firing in shots but for the last 20 minutes we couldn’t get out of our own area. Shots came in; corners for cleared, clearances were cleared. Basically no matter how hard we kicked it away, it kept coming back. Eventually the ref took pity on our poor weary bones and called full time. Our first World Cup point and a clean sheet for the defence to boot. 0-0 at full time.

That evening all of the participants and guests of the tournament were invited to the City Hall to meet with the Mayor and enjoy his renowned pancakes. It was actually a pretty decent spread and they even laid on free beer for us. Though by about 9pm we had actually drunk the City Hall dry of beer and were forced to find alternative drinking holes. A walk down to Oscars (the main Bar Sponsor) was pretty rammed so we mooched on up the street to Heaven where we enjoyed some rather sexy looking cocktails, and made friends with some of the boys from Florida & Atlanta. Some made better friends than others, but let’s not go off course.

With a large crowd of English gathering outside the bar (it was too hot inside) it seemed that a few of the Florida boys were prepared to skip their curfew to come play with us Brits, the gorgeous Seth and Frank(?). A rather splendidly ear shattering chorus of ‘Leftfooters’ was sung in the street so that there was no doubt we were in the mood to party, especially after Mr Baldini had ordered the most ridiculous looking cocktail ever seen (just think Kermit the frog’s head with straws sticking out).

Onwards to Pan again where London and Yorkshire took it upon themselves to serenade our beautiful American brothers at the karaoke whilst feeding them shots of tequila with their southern comfort. Gayby Dave obviously felt he wasn’t getting enough attention sitting behind the Americans and so promptly fell of his bench sending a table of drinks crashing around him. That or he was drunk… I dunno. The reaction was brilliant. Everyone picked up their drinks… and then helped Gayby Dave to his feet. As the evening wore on, some grew tired... some even grew breasts as I recall and another night another game. At least we had nobbled two of them. Though not in the way we would have liked…

Tue 2nd August
Ah, there are so many things to tell you about our first game on Tuesday. Luckily we had a midday kick-off, but as you’ve read, this just gave us licence to stay out later. The match will go down in Leftfooters history as one of our greatest moments. Not just for the football, but for the fact it was one of the best supported games in the tournament (the final only just beats it for reasons I couldn’t possibly say).

The line up: In the White Corner, from Fort Lauderdale Florida, the reigning IGLFA World Champions with warm ups, slick passing and a straight paid coach that runs up and down the touchline shouting like the bumblebee man from the Simpsons… Florida Storm!!

And the challenger in the Red Corner, from London, England, their last match on continental soil ended in a 19-0 defeat, they collectively share only 3 livers and with 5 minutes to go before kick off, half the team are still in the toilet… give it up for Leeeeeeeeftfooooters!!!!

DING DING!

As was becoming ritual, we started off trying to intimidate the opposition with a rousing chorus of ‘Leftfooters’ which by now even the non-English speaking spectators could sing-a-long to. The game kicked off and the David & Goliath factor didn’t seem to be affecting the Londoners at all. The Americans passed the ball around well but couldn’t break through the packed London midfield, and when they did Richy Cafubell was on hand to show them how it’s done. All of a sudden a ball over the Florida defence and the keeper hesitated… hesitated? He’s only gone and dropped it! Baldini’s running in…. he’s stole the ball from the keeper… it’s a tight angle… practically on the line… he slots it in… the defender tries to clear… IT’S OVER THE LINE!!!

LEFTFOOTERS SCORE AGAINST WORLD CHAMPIONS AFTER 5 MINUTES!!

F*CK ME!!

***various screaming, swearing, shouting and congrat/ejaculations***

Oh we did giggle. You just need to ask someone like Bingo who was playing on a field on the other side of the pitches how loud the atmosphere was. For the rest of the half while Florida battled back, unable to understand how a group of people, who clinically should probably have collapsed with organ failure by now, were running the show. The singing started and it didn’t end for the rest of the game. Florida’s motto summed up how they were the very opposite to what we stand for, with their “Play Hard or Go Home!” mentality. We decided to sing GO HOME! GO HOME! GO HOME! followed by U – S – WHO!!! U – S – WHO!! Led on by the legendary Yorkshire lads, we duly sang our hearts out throughout the game. Whoever touched the ball was cheered, for either team. Even when Florida equalised on the stroke of half time we gave them a cheer for their efforts. It was a well taken goal, and it had to be to beat the inform Gary Taylor (Who I forget to mention pulled off a World Class Banks save in the first game to keep us in it).

The second half only got louder in terms of atmosphere as Leftfooters battled to keep out the now relentless Florida attacks. Gayby Dave was felled, taking a nasty knock to the ankle which would rule him out for the rest of the tournament, giving him the new nickname, Disabled Dave. It looked like Leftfooters were about to pull off the shock of the century until we seemed to take pity on the Spanish bumblebee running up and down the touchline, and allowed Florida in to steal a goal at the last. This couldn’t dishearten the crowd though who by this time had managed a Mexican Wave that even the Florida boys joined in with… time after time after time… At the final whistle reigning champs Florida celebrated as if they’d won the cup itself. Apparently Leftfooters were, and would turn out to be – the hardest team they’d play all tournament.

We can’t get a better compliment than that.

The result meant that (un)fortunately, Leftfooters would play the remainder of the tournament in division 2. With the result against Copenhagen carried through to the next group, we knew that only two wins out of two would be enough to see us through to the semi finals, and even that might not be enough if it came to goal difference. As the draw for the division 2 groups was announced, we found ourselves drawn against new boys Prague of the Czech Republic and New York Ramblers, who were celebrating 25 years of homo soccer action.

The Czechs were the first up. We knew from their previous results (a lot to nil) that we had a pretty decent chance of beating them if we kept our heads up. Early on Leftfooters put together wave after wave of attacks down both wings. The front line of Basiurski, GayCzar, Monty & Hemmings seemed to be too much for the gorgeous Bel Ami boys to handle. The first goal as I recall came from a Hemmings run down the right, GayCzar pressured the defence to a mistake on the 6-yard line and Basiurski followed in to send the net a quiver. Much the same for the rest of the first half, the London wing play was a sight to behold with a solid defence behind them giving nothing away. Finally towards to end of the half they got their rewards, GayCzar dodged one defender before pushing the ball past another and slotting the ball across the face of the keeper for 2-0.

At half time we knew we had to think tactically. New York had beaten them 4-0 so we had to better that to give us a chance of going through on goal difference. Attack after attack saw Pete Clifford finally steal in just inside the right side of the box and deliver a crashing volley across the face of the box and into the corner for 3-0 (By the way, there are some great pictures of the celebrations of this goal on the official website www.vm2005.dk). Goal number 4 came after Gary Williams, the star holding midfielder of the tournament, tricked has way past a queue of Czech defenders down the left of the box before powering a superb left-foot cross across the face of the goal for GayCzar to volley in his second, and the Londoner’s fourth. Up next to the plate was our very own be-sequined Morten. Holding up the ball all afternoon to bring the midfield into the attack, he finally showed the ruthless striker’s streak in him by dribbling around three or four defenders before deftly chipping over the advancing keeper for 5-0 Leftfooters. High on adrenalin the Leftfooters pushed on again, volleys whistled over, shots were cleared, diving headers denied… until at the last, a Hemmings cross found GayCzar on the 6 yard line, who turned and sent his hat trick goal into the roof of the net. 6-0 was how it ended and with it, Leftfooters biggest ever victory.

After the game we duly celebrated with much beer before heading back for some rest at the ‘Men’s’ party later that evening… There wasn’t a great deal to report from this night to be honest… other than poor disabled Dave having to be carried up a spiral staircase every time he wanted a pee. Eventually we lifted him up to the third floor karaoke room where he could just pee in a darkened corner if he so wished…

Wednesday 3rd August (Mark Baldan)
Rest day, YAY. No getting woken up by Gary at 7 in the morning and telling me I have to be up and out by 8 for game that start at ruddy 12! Actually he gave me an extra hour, gawd bless him. Today was going to be tourist day.

Myself, Gary, Beena, Lisa, Liv, Steve, Dave & his crutches, Chris B and our lovely tour guide Morten met at Copenhagen Central for a day trip to Helsingor & Helsingborg (Sweden). Poor Dave already looked knackered. Helsingør, town and seaport, eastern Denmark, in Frederiksborg County, with Kronborg Castle east of the town, is famous as the locale of Shakespeare's Hamlet. The castle, built during the 16th century, is now used chiefly as a maritime museum. Among the
principal industries here are glass manufacture, the weaving of fishing nets and coarse cloth, shipbuilding, marine engineering, and iron founding. Helsingør has a fine harbour, equipped with dry docks for the repair of ships. A ferry joins Helsingør with Helsingborg, Sweden, across the Øresund. Population (2000 estimate) 59,492. Well we got to Helsingor in good time, weather was great and we decided to walk up to the castle. Just as well as if we had decided to look into the town itself we may have not left, there were stalls upon stalls selling booze. Apparently the Swedes come over to Denmark to buy their drink because it's cheaper! We didn't find out how much beer cost in Sweden but I'm sure it would have meant someone having to re-mortgage their house.

The castle must have been about a mile out of town but by the time we got to the café near the castle Dave looked like he'd run the London Marathon. We stopped off to have some coffee & ice cream for a well- earned rest & to make sure Gayby Dave didn't pop his clogs. As we reposed Barney effffthhheeeemoouuffhhh & Justin turned up on their quest to see as many castle as one could in a day, of which there are numerous in Denmark.

Dave & Morten decided to catch a bit of sun whilst the rest of us had a gander inside the castle. Once we did our cultural bit we headed back into town to catch the ferry to Sweden and some lunch. The ferry only took about 20 mins, which was enough time to get a beer and pack of fags. Helsingborg, city and seaport in southern Sweden, on a strait called the Öresund, in Skåne County. The modern city was established in the early 15th century near the site of the old town, which was known as a trade centre as early as the 9th century. A ruined fortress is all that remains of the old town. The city belonged to Denmark until 1658, when it was ceded to Sweden. The Danes recaptured it several times, however, and it did not come under permanent Swedish control until 1710.

Helsingborg is an important port and one of the leading manufacturing centres in the country. It is located near the only coalfield in Sweden and near large clay deposits. Among the principal industrial establishments in Helsingborg are sugar and copper refineries, breweries, superphosphate works, potteries, and rubber factories. Population (1998 estimate) 116,337.

By the time we got to Sweden Dave was struggling so a few of the lads decided to carry him to the nearest restaurant / pub. Eventually we found a little outdoor burger bar which sated our hunger & thirst. Gorgeous Liv got some Swedish Krona out so that we could actually buy food. A few hardy souls went to look at the fort and then met up with the rest to head back to Denmark and Copehangen.

Once back in Copenhagen we decided to freshen up and try and catch a few winks because tonight we were going to Tivoli Gardens.Tivoli opened in 1843, after a Danish architect named Georg Carstensen talked King Christian VIII into leasing him a site for a park modelled after the now-defunct Parisian Tivoli and Vauxhall Gardens in London. Apparently, Walt Disney designed Disneyland on Tivoli.

Once in Tivoli the Leftfooters squad embarked on a rampage of shooting plastic bears and drinking litres of beer. Richy bounced off in excitement with Haffi to test all that Tivoli had to offer in terms of rides. I almost dared myself to go on the little boats. Once we found out that there was no bumper cars we went into a mock German beer hall and drunk more alcohol. Funniest thing of the night was Chris B handing Mikey 18 odd cigarettes and then tearing up the box in front of him.

After seeing the one firework a few of us went off to Cozy Bar for a few beers. Considering it was meant to be a quiet night 5 double tequillas, several beers and numerous vodkas later I had me top off and apparently teased some poor chap in the bar, Michael became a Bel Ami porn actor who stars in scat videos. There are now several Danes who are looking for the film Glass Table. This was also the evening when Michael became known as the Gayczar, not sure how it came about but that is his title now as our all-powerful leader. We decided to leave when the toilet broke and was pouring water onto the floor at a faster rate that sunk the Titanic.

Unfortunately for Steve our wonderful defender who I was sharing with I brought back Pete, Chris & Mikey to my room with a bottle of vodka and several pack of crisps. What I didn't know is that Steve had told Gary (the other room dweller) that he wanted a good nights sleep only an hour before. No wonder Gary was quiet when we turned up. I don't think Steve was too happy with me the next morning.

Thursday 4th August
I have two words in my dairy. AMAZING DAY.

I think this day will go down as the best day so far in Footers history. We made it to the semi-final of the World Cup tournament and we finished top of our group.
We only had one game this day and it was the New York Ramblers who stood in our way and history. They were a team who from what I gather probably expect to win things; they had a straight lady coaching them and were not in Copenhagen just to make up the numbers.

The game started off and it was the first time I'd ever witnessed a Footers team actually nervous. You could feel the tension. We had something to play for other than a fair play trophy. The game was tight, nothing exceptional happened, we were tight in defence and foraged for openings up front. The 1st half ended and we decided that we needed to relax so a good rendition of the Leftfooters song was belted out by the team with the addition of the new 4th verse. 2nd half started and it made a difference we got more confident and started passing the ball around, defensively we were comfortable, not too many scares. Then all of a sudden a hopeful ball up to the wonderful Mr Hemmings, he knocked it past the left back and headed on towards to goal, keeper came flying out but just as he was about to connect with our right winger Andy smacked the ball goal-wards. I don't know if it was just me but the time it took for the ball to leave Andy's boot till it hit the back of the net seemed like eons. Once it did I think it's fair to say we went a bit mental.

Truth be told I can't remember much of the second half after that all I know is that if the ball was anywhere near I probably just shunted it out as far as I could. Oh yes and there was a tropical downpour midway through the second half which made everyone's kit cling to their skin, you could almost tell who was Jewish. Full time whistle blew and Leftfooters were in the Semis and thoroughly deserved it was. The rest of the day was spent in the tent drinking copious amounts of cheap beer and not quite believing what had happened. We also found out the NY Ramblers had also got to the semis as Copenhagen could only beat Prague 1-0, which meant both teams celebrated and for which we were pleased as the team from the big apple were a pretty nice bunch.

Many of the Footers stayed on into the early hours after the free BBQ in the tent that night, some of them even managed to find themselves back on the pitch for non-footballing activity. However some of us unfortunate ones decided to head off back to Copenhagen and to the SLM Bar where it was Kit Night. How can I describe this place, think CXR, Central Station and times it by 1000 in terms of seediness then add a rack, whips, unplumbed toilets, two ceramic baths and not much light oh and some tyres. Well I was scared, I felt sorry for James Maloney who had just got off his flight and this was the first place he'd visited in Copenhagen. I went to the toilet and got molested by some Dane, I apologised and said I was wearing my football shirt because I actually liked wearing it because I'm a soccer fan. Chris Simon was told by Barney to use the urinal, unfortunately for him his shoes got wet as it was more of "toy" than an actual pisspot.

We made a hasty retreat and I promised Steve I would only have water and be back at the hotel by 1:30am, I didn't really want to piss him of again. You can tell he's a teacher.

Friday 4th August – Semi Final
An early start for us today and a ninety-minute match. 9am to be exact against DC United who were another useful American side. 1st half started pretty evenly not many chances either way, Mikey had a good chance but I think I might have been running offside at left wing and so the assistant referee flagged (C*NT). This might seem a bit harsh but his actions inadvertently cost us a goal at the end of the first half which would end up being the decider. DC wanted to
make a substitution and the flag man told them that there was no point as there was only 30 seconds left of the half, so whilst we thought that they were going to make a sub the DC player played on and took his throw. The throw came in and we managed to clear it despite half our players waiting for the new man to come on. The ball went back out to a DC player and he crossed it in to the far post
where an attacker nipped in headed the ball past a helpless Gary. We were not best pleased especially Gary who as a referee himself.

The second half came and went rather quickly it seemed, we valiantly tried to create chances to equalise and had a few opportunities. We suffered a few scares and it wasn't until the last kick of the game that we thought we had scored. We got a free kick and we loaded everyone into the box, Gary T came deep into the opposition half to lob the ball into the DC penalty area, Morten got his chance and hit the ball goal-wards. The ball squirmed under the keeper hit the inside of the post and back out into the thankful hands of the custodian. We on the sidelines thought we had scored so an almighty cheer almost erupted until we realised that the bugger didn't cross the line. Full-Time and many a footer collapsed onto the ground, so close. Overall the game was a great contest and we played brilliantly but it was not to be, instead we had the prospect of playing for third place against NY Ramblers who we'd beaten the day before.

Nearly two hours later we started our second game of the day, we agreed with NY to cut the game back down to 60 minutes unfortunately they wouldn't let us put the game back to let us recover a bit more (beer time). Despite this we played out of skins, probably better than we did on Thursday however a strange lobbed goal by the Ramblers ensured that they won the Bronze medals. We tried to score and Chris B had a great shot somehow saved by their keeper but we couldn’t create enough chances. Defensively we were good with big Steve T
commanding but in the end we didn't score and therefore the Ramblers just about deserved their victory.

For a few hours after I felt at a bit of a loss, we'd got so far and were so close to actually bringing something back. However in the end I looked around and thought this team has done magnificently. We came to Copenhagen to enjoy ourselves, didn't expect to do anything football wise but we did, everyone one of us including all our supporters did us proud and I might add in style. By the end of the afternoon I was smiling again and waiting in anticipation for our next game.

Congratulations to Barney and his Samurai Japan team who won the 2nd Division Final against DC. Well worth it, I mean they only won 5-0 ;-) After the games we headed back to the tent for the presentations and more beer & vodka. Mikey & I were still trying to buy more when they started packing the bar away. Mikey also managed to get some chaps Calvins in return for his Millwall top.

The night was spent again in the bars & club (Pan) of Copenhagen along with the brilliant Yorkshire team who were out for Pete Farrar's birthday. I can't remember much at all about this night apart from getting spit roasted whilst trying to sing My Way & Haffi's superb version of It's All So Quiet.

Saturday 6th August
Up bright an early to head back to Ellebjerg to watch the League 1 World Cup Final which incidentally was being broadcast live on Danish cable. The game was between Manchester 1 & Paris, with support split down the middle amongst the Footers.

The football itself wasn't much to write home about so I won't bore you, but there was a section of spectators who were singing continually through the game and I give you three guesses who they was. Best chant was "We are aaalllll homosexuals" to the tune of yellow submarine. Lots of other terrace chants, banter between Yorkshire team and ourselves, a few waves and a conga (Barney did admit to us that the Japanese thought we looked stupid doing the conga, that from a country that has Takashi's Castle). We also managed to endear ourselves to most teams (not that we hadn't done already) by singing a song relevant to their home (New York New York to the Ramblers, Samurai Samurai to the Japanese etc). The game itself ended in a 1-1 stalemate, though I think Manchester were probably unlucky that they had a goal disallowed just before Paris scored their equaliser.

There were no more goals during extra time either so we had the excitement of a penalty shootout which Paris won 4-2.

The most memorable thing of the day was a beloved Gayczar who on a promise, streaked past the teams during the medal ceremony live on Danish television. The man epitomises what it is to be a Leftfooter, he loves his football, loves his drink and is completely fucking bonkers. ALL HAIL THE GAYCZAR.

After the excitement of the day we headed back to recuperate for our final session by going to the Irish bar to play pool and then onto the closing ceremony in Vega where it all started a week ago. The world cup winners got their trophies and several IGLFA dignitaries spoke of the success of the organisation and handed out awards to people who had made IGLFA what it is today.

After the speeches we descended to the bar and to play table football but not before our own little presentation ceremony. We thanked Craig for organising this tournament for Leftfooters, must have been difficult but he managed it and we are most grateful, thanks again mate. We also handed the player of the tournament fairy wand to Brian Silk, who played magnificently in all his games.

Sunday 7th August
Our final day saw us hit the beer for the final time in Denmark, some of us played pool and others went to watch the first game of the football season (Leeds – Millwall). It was quieter than usual probably a mix sadness at the end of such a brilliant week and tiredness, but what a week definitely one of the best holidays of my life.

We will win tournaments in the future and we are going to do it the
Leftfooters way.

Mikey C & Mark B